Thursday, February 11, 2016

Establishing Goals for My Journey

If you know me, you realize that I love spontaneity and have no problem with just winging it.  I view life as an adventure that is to be unfolded as you go.  I do set some goals, but they are rarely firm as I think the dynamics of life should dictate where you go next.

This viewpoint has been both a blessing and a curse.  It has been a blessing in the fact that I don't feel like I have failed in life, just changed my trajectory.  Just because I haven't met goals that I had in mind when I was in my teens, or twenties, does not make me less of a person or less successful in the things that really matter.  So what if my bank account is not bulging, I have enjoyed life in my own way and have very few regrets.

A clear example of this is that until the time I was around 25, I never even contemplated having kids.  I didn't have the desire or the need.  I got married when I was 24 and my husband (now ex-husband), talked me into having kids.  I loved him and was dedicated to him, so to make him happy, I thought I would bear through it.  Well, it turned out that having kids was the best thing that I ever did.  As soon as I became pregnant, my maternal instinct kicked in and I was a happy pregnant lady which only became better when I became a Mom.  And I must say, I rock as a Mom.  It doesn't pay all that well, but I must admit that I am good at it.  But, left to my own devices and opinions, I would never would have had kids.

My life has progressed like this over the years.  As things came up or my views changed, I tried different things and often changed my path.  This has been rewarding and fun and brought a lot of joy to my life, but (yes, of course there is a "but") it has also left me a middle aged woman trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up.  And that, my friends, is the curse.  I don't have a clear path to follow.

I have decided that this journey to perfect solace should have some goals so that I have some direction for what I need to accomplish.  I am well on my way and have already learned many things about myself, but I still have a lot to achieve and discover.  My goals are as follows:

*  Become gainfully employed  (this is first and foremost)

*  Find a religious community that is comfortable and supportive

*  Focus on health, which includes losing weight

*  Increase my circle of friends

*  Love unconditionally  (my kids, boyfriend and friends)

*  Enjoy nature and everything it provides

*  Revisit old hobbies that have been long forgotten and explore new ones

*  Make myself my priority

*  Become creative again

I am sure I will think of more goals as time goes on.  I tried to write these so they are fluid and will work well with the flow of living and change. This journey is a process and there is no particular end, it is the journey itself that is to be enjoyed.

If anyone has any suggestions feel free to comment.  I appreciate comments.  In fact, if you are willing to join me in the journey or have been through a similar one, please share your experiences, I would love to hear them.


  1. We share a lot of the same things on our lists. I've been in a marriage for 30 years with someone I am not in love with. We have four lovely, all grown up now, daughters and I have begun a journey of my own. I'm still in the marriage because, after spending 20+ years staying home raising the kiddos, I have no means to uproot. But I am ever hopeful!

    1. It does seem we may be on a similar journey. I look forward to hearing about the progress from yours.