Here I am in middle age and I have a boyfriend. I wasn't sure I would ever be in a romantic relationship again, but here I am. I must admit that this is a relationship that I would never have expected, but we both just kind of fell into it. We got along so great that we knew we had to put a label on it, so now he is my boyfriend.
Unfortunately, I have been in 2 long term relationships previously. My ex husband and I were married for 9 years, together for more than 10 years. My most recent break up was from a 12 year relationship. Both those relationships had major issues, so now I am constantly watching for red flags in my current relationship. As a result, my poor boyfriend cannot get away with anything.
I established early on that I have two rules, honesty and respect. Sometimes I feel bad for my boyfriend because I give him very little leeway. I am way more demanding from him than I have ever been in the past because I don't want to fall into the same traps I got stuck in before. However, I am not going to give in. I am a different person now than I was before and I demand respect and will call anyone out if I feel like I am not getting it. My boyfriend is not disrespecting me, but if I am questioning whether there is an issue, I call him out on it every time. Of course he does the same to me too because he also had bad relationships in the past.
Luckily, my boyfriend is great at communicating and is probably one of the most caring people you could ever meet. In fact, if I had to describe his most prominent personality trait, it would be that he is all heart. Everything he does is with heart and he cares deeply for people. He is the type of guy that if he thought you needed a shirt, he would give you the one off of his back. Because he is such a caring guy we can talk about anything, including our relationship issues.
I am not used to being with a guy that will sit down and talk about "us". It is refreshing and we would probably not still be together if we didn't have those conversations. I never had those conversations when I was younger because the guys wouldn't participate or I wasn't confident enough to call them out on issues. Now that I am older and hopefully wiser, the conversations have become a part of our relationship. It is amazing how experience changes things.
My boyfriend is indeed paying for the crimes of my past, but it has made our relationship stronger. We know where we stand with each other and we know the true meaning of commitment. At this point I cannot imagine an issue that we couldn't tackle together and overcome. I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us.