Friday, February 12, 2016

Sacrifices Stink

When I broke up with my long time boyfriend (over 12 years) the summer of 2014.  I made many sacrifices when I decided to move away.  I tried not to fight over stuff, and I knew that I was moving to an apartment so I didn't have much room in my new place.  As it was, I was moving to a 2 bedroom apartment with the stuff for 3 people.  I moved only 3 weeks before my son went off to college, but I still had to store all his things because not everything he owned could fit in his dorm room.  And because money was tight, I wasn't going to get a 3 bedroom apartment just for storage.

Since then, my son has moved to an apartment, so he has been able to take more of his stuff, but I still have a lot of his belongings at my apartment.  The poor kid has to sleep on the futon in the living room when he comes home for breaks, and I feel bad for that.  Of course I don't feel bad enough to have stayed in a bad relationship, so I keep telling myself that his sleeping on the futon builds character.  Unfortunately, my kids' Dad moved to South Carolina last spring, so my son doesn't even have the option to crash at his Dad's house anymore.

Though, I miss some of the stuff I left at my ex boyfriend's house and feel guilty that my son has to sleep on the futon, my biggest sacrifice in the move was that I left my dog, Hunter, with my ex boyfriend.  I got my dog in February 2002, only a month before my ex husband and I broke up.  My ex boyfriend, who was also my neighbor, and I had our first date a few months after, so he was around pretty much the whole time I had my dog.  When I broke up with my boyfriend, Hunter was 13 years old and already not aging well.  My dog was already getting up slow, couldn't handle stairs and did not deal with change at all.  Taking Hunter's health and quality of life in consideration, I decided that I would make the sacrifice and leave him with my ex boyfriend.

Since the break up, I have have had visitations rights to Hunter and I have been watching him deteriorate.  I usually cry every visit because I notice every change for the worse and he seems to be shrinking and definitely has doggy Alzheimers.  My visitation was cut off almost a month ago when I told my ex that I am seeing someone.  I guess he had some strange idea that we would get back together someday.

Tonight I got a text from my ex boyfriend that Hunter is not doing well and is having trouble walking.  Of course I rushed right over to see Hunter.  He doesn't seem to be in pain, but to see him on wobbly legs and thin is really hard.  I fear that I may have just seen him for the last time.  I pray that he does not have pain and that he goes quickly when the time comes.  In the meantime, my heart is breaking.    

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